When you lack closeness with others or do not feel a sense of belonging, you may struggle to move through life and experience discomfort, sadness and stress. Loneliness is more than being alone. Depression, anxiety and other mental and physical conditions can stem from loneliness. Taking steps to reduce it is crucial for wellbeing. Here are strategies you can use to make loneliness more manageable.
Validate your loneliness. Acknowledging and accepting that you are lonely allows you to take steps to feel better. Loneliness is quite common. In fact, according to an advisory published by the U.S. Surgeon General in 2023, there is an “epidemic of loneliness and isolation,” and about half of Americans experience loneliness. There is no weakness in being lonely, and there is nothing wrong with you if you are feeling this way. Recognizing your feelings is the first step in moving forward.
Be mindful. When you are lonely, you may experience negative thoughts, such as “Nobody likes me” or “I am worthless.” These thoughts can make you feel sad, anxious and hopeless, but you can challenge the negativity with mindfulness. Begin by slowly taking a few breaths and trying to remain in the present, viewing distractive thoughts as temporary and floating past you. Another option is to write down your thoughts and consider whether they are logical or helpful. Are you making generalizations or assumptions without evidence?
Practice gratitude. Feeling lonely can lead you to focus on your lack of connection instead of positive elements in your life. Take a moment to identify at least five things you are grateful for, such as your family or good health. Say these things aloud or write them down. Research shows this simple practice reduces stress hormones and activates problem-solving abilities. Appreciating what you have instead of what you do not can help you feel better.
Do something you love. Hobbies that bring you joy help distract you from your loneliness. If you are struggling to think of an activity, consider something you enjoyed as a child or have always wanted to try, such as learning a new language, cooking, reading, playing a musical instrument, writing or painting.
Practice self-care. Regular self-care is crucial for mental and physical wellbeing. Recognize when you may be neglecting your needs because you are lonely. Have you been sleeping and eating well? Are you taking breaks from work and responsibilities to recharge? Do you need to move around or exercise? Prioritizing yourself is not selfish; it is necessary and will help you better manage your loneliness.
Exercise. Riding a bike, running, practicing yoga or simply walking are all ways to feel better and improve the sadness and stress associated with loneliness. Research shows that exercising releases endorphins and reduces cortisol, improving your mood and reducing stress.
Take yourself out. If you lack close relationships, you may struggle to do activities you would usually do with friends. It is common to fear judgment from others while going to a restaurant or a concert by yourself, but it is unlikely anyone will care that you are alone. Going on a solo date can help you feel more confident and have fun, and it can also provide an opportunity to meet new people.
Call someone. Sometimes, the best way to relieve loneliness is to remind yourself of a positive connection you have. Consider calling a friend or family member to see how they are doing. Schedule a time to have coffee together or plan another type of in-person meeting. If you are hesitant to reach out, remember that initiation and effort on your part are crucial aspects of forming closer connections. Often, people are more than open to connecting when you are the first to reach out.