Studies show that people with friends stress less, sleep better and have improved health and wellbeing. Anyone can feel lonely, but some people may have a harder time connecting with others. The good news is that you can take steps to ease loneliness and make friends.
Start small
Making friends might seem impossible. Take baby steps, and you will grow to be more social and confident (and then you can build on that success). Here’s how you break the ice:
Compliment someone you encounter during your day
Ask someone a casual question (for example: “Did you think the homework was hard?”)
Invite someone to sit next to you on the bus or at lunch
Start a conversation with a friendly cashier, waiter or salesperson your age
Find people with similar interests. While it may seem a little uncomfortable at first, put yourself in situations where meeting people is more natural. Get involved in activities and interests you already love, like student council, clubs, band or sports teams. That way, you’ll know other people who like what you like, and you have a perfect jumping-off point for starting a conversation or doing things together.
Keep an open mind. It may seem silly, but many people get defeated before they even try. When it comes to meeting new people, sometimes it’s good to talk to someone who has different interests. If you hang out with people who only think like you and do all the same things, how are you supposed to hear about new music or movies? Don’t write off a potential new friend too quickly.
Start slow. While you might be anxious to have a bestie, every good relationship takes time. Skip high-pressure or potentially awkward situations and don’t put any pressure on the new people you meet.
Be yourself. It can be tempting to act a certain way for people to like you. The truth is that most people appreciate authenticity more than anything else. If someone doesn’t like you for you, they aren’t a real friend anyway. Besides, you’ll have way more fun with the people who accept just the way you are.
Network. Maybe you have a friend who participates in different activities than you do or has different classes. They probably interact with people you don’t know. Ask them to introduce you. Meeting friends of friends is how you grow your circle. Using this still in school is beneficial as you get older. It’s a great way for getting jobs and creating other new relationships.
Keep at it. Meeting people is just step one, but nurturing relationships is always a little bit harder. Once you meet someone you like, continue to stay in touch with them. Invite them to hang out or go to a movie. Text them or share favorite items. And remember that no one likes a one-sided relationship. If someone else is making the effort, make sure you give back.